NBA 1v1 Madness: First Four

By: Wayne and Schwartz

West First Four: Lou Williams over J.R. Smith

Sweet Lou lives up to his nickname, blazing by a dazed and confused JR Smith who frankly appears to have downed a nice pregame bottle of Hennessy, his and now the NBA’s favorite liquor.

Final score: 21-14

Midwest First Four: Marcus? Markieff? Who Knows

This game is a tough one for all observers to follow, as the identical Morris twins shockingly elect to wear identical “Morris” jerseys for the contest. It’s an evenly fought game, as far as anyone can tell, but Marcus ultimately comes out on top. We think. There’s a chance it was Markieff but there’s really no way to know.

Final score: 21-19? Maybe not though it was really hard to know who was scoring each bucket

East First Four: Alex Caruso over Joe Ingles 

The Bald Mamba takes on Jingles in a battle of two of the oldest-looking players in the NBA. Caruso’s defense and athleticism wins out here, although I do love me some Aussie Ingles. Neither guy has a chance in hell in the next round though.

Final score: 21-16

South First Four: Boban Marjanovic over Steven Adams

Both of these guys are absolutely huge, but Boban is bigger, and has a wild offensive arsenal of skills. His sheer uniqueness carries him into the tournament proper, and an inevitable massacre at the hands of the Beard

Final score: 21-16